


One Confession at a Time

by ThatFilmGraduate



Series: A PostSecret Collection [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A PostSecret Collection, Alternate Universe - No War, Closeted Remus Lupin, Coming Out, Domestic Boyfriends, Established Relationship, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Insecure Sirius Black, M/M, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, PostSecret, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22529794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatFilmGraduate/pseuds/ThatFilmGraduate
Summary: 'My boyfriend hides me from his parents. We live together and every time his parents come by, he hides all of my stuff.'Sirius Black and Remus Lupin have been together for nearly three years and have been living together for seven months, but Remus still has yet to tell his parents about their true relationship. Sometimes, Sirius can't help but feel like a secret. Confessions and promises are made.Remus/Sirius, background James/Lily.
Relationships: Sirius Black & James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: A PostSecret Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613362
Comments: 3
Kudos: 105





	One Confession at a Time

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these HP characters or settings. 
> 
> Written: January 2017  
> Rewritten: January 2020

**My boyfriend hides me from his parents. We live together and every time his parents come by, he hides all of my stuff.**

Sirius Black awoke to the delightful sounds of scuffling and banging kitchenware in the next room. He smiled to himself, revelling in the fact that only one person could be making all that racket: Remus Lupin, his partner of nearly three years and house-spouse of seven months.

Sometimes he still couldn't believe that he had actually managed to snag Remus John Lupin, the aloof and endlessly caring werewolf; a man that had once been very against relationships and who was dry-witted and steady and hilarious and gorgeous and... just bloody brilliant. And he was all Sirius's. Even better than that, though, was that he had not only mastered the impossible in getting Remus, but he had also managed to convince the other man to live with him.

He and Remus had been sharing a flat for the past seven months and Sirius had found those seven months to be absolute domestic bliss. Never before had he thought he would be happy to go home. Not until he met and lived with Remus Lupin, that is.

Home had once meant Grimmauld Place: cold and hostile and full of people who were indifferent to one another. Then it meant Hogwarts: fun and happy and full of people who were not blood but who were infinitely better. Then it meant the Potter Mansion: warm and loving and full of people who were kindness personified. But now home meant the Black-Lupin Flat: safe and comfortable and inhabited by one other person who loved him unconditionally and who made him feel invincible.

When he met Remus, his life changed for the better and now he found himself in a serious relationship and living with someone who he would do anything for and who he loved more than life itself. He and Remus had been living in their own little haven for 217 days and Sirius had never felt so safe before.

In his younger days, before he and Remus got together, he hadn't thought he would ever be happy or that he would settle down with someone he loved. He had thought that his family had ruined him. He had believed that Walburga and Orion Black had shattered him beyond repair and that he would never be capable of having a normal, functioning relationship. But he had been wrong. He had been so wrong and although his relationship with Remus was far from normal, it was functioning and it was perfect.

Their relationship was perfect because they were ideal for each other: they understood each other; they listened to each other; they knew each other inside out; and they never lied or kept secrets from one another. Yes, they argued. Yes, they screamed obscenities and slammed doors and stormed off, but they always came back together in the end and they always worked it out. He and Remus had been through things that would be enough to break any other couple, but it hadn't broken them. They had supported each other and gotten through it all together and ended up stronger than before.

Their love was mutual and infinite, and the trust that they had built up with one another was equally as immeasurable. Every morning, it was Remus's face he wanted to see. And at the end of the day, he was always ready to go home and see the other man. Even after arguments, even when he was angry beyond words, all he wanted to do was be with Remus. Remus was his first thought in the morning and his last thought at night. He often wondered whether he ought to tell his house-spouse that but he reckoned Remus knew already...

A loud clatter from the kitchen brought Sirius's attention away from his thoughts and he listened to his boyfriend's muffled swearwords float through the thin walls. The cacophony of 'Fuck!' and 'Shit!' and 'What the fuck is this? Where does this even go?' eventually came to a stop and Sirius opened his eyes to look in the general direction of the door, wondering what his partner was doing.

After a long minute, he came to the conclusion that the noise could only mean one of three things: one, Remus was cooking breakfast (which was sweet and he appreciated the thought, but Remus was a terrible cook compared to him); two, Remus was tidying up as he was wont to do; or three, they had people coming over and Remus was trying to make the place look presentable.

Sirius groaned to himself, praying to any deity listening that they didn't have any visitors on the way. That weekend was the first in nearly four weeks that he and Remus had off together at the same time and he wanted to spend that time alone with the other man, but he couldn't do that if their flat was full of other humans, could he?

Their first whole weekend off together in ages and when Sirius had realised this, he had decided to plan it:

First, they would wake up (preferably together) and have breakfast (cooked by Sirius) and then have some lazy morning sex (possibly in the shower; he hadn't really thought about location). Then they would get dressed and head into Town (to do some shopping and visit the art gallery to see the new exhibits) and grab some lunch (possibly from that little café on the corner). After that, they would go home and order some food from the local takeaway (Chinese, he was in the mood for). Then they would eat the ordered-in food and watch some evening television before they shagged in various places and positions and eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.

That was it. That was their Saturday all planned out. (He hadn't really thought about their Sunday, but he had decided that they would see their friends at some point.)

Sirius lay in bed for another moment, absently listening to the sounds of shuffling and banging cutlery, before he decided it was time to get up and ask his werewolf if his plans were about to go up in flames.

He sighed and stumbled out of the bed before he pulled on some fresh boxer shorts, purposefully leaving his chest and legs bare in hopes of being able to convince Remus to cancel any visitors (should that be the reason for the clattering), and quickly made his way to the bathroom where he took a piss, brushed his teeth, and checked himself out in the mirror. He flexed in front of the glass and ran a hand through his hair to give it that just-shagged look that he knew Remus liked. Smiling satisfactorily to himself, he nodded to his reflection and left the bathroom, ready to seduce his werewolf.

As he made his way to the kitchen, he noticed there was no smell of burning bacon or toast in the air, so he concluded that option one was out and Remus was not making him breakfast. Out of the remaining options, he sincerely hoped it was option two and that Remus was just tidying up for the hell of it.

He walked through the living room and took note of how different the space looked. It was inscrutably tidy, and it looked like most of his stuff had been tucked away or hidden from sight completely. He frowned and moved into the kitchen where he found Remus, fully dressed in his midnight blue jumper with the sleeves rolled up and clad in his worn jeans that clung to him in all of the right places, drying the benches with an orange tea towel.

While Remus was occupied, Sirius leaned against the doorframe and took the opportunity to watch the other man. He had always admired Remus, even before they became official. It didn't matter what Remus was doing, whether he was reading or cleaning or pranking or just sitting, Sirius enjoyed watching him. Remus Lupin in his natural state was always fascinating.

Remus turned around at that moment and saw Sirius standing in the doorway. He didn't seem shocked to find Sirius staring at him and he shouldn't be really, what with the amount of times he had caught Sirius staring the past.

"Padfoot," Remus said. "How long have you been standing there?"

Sirius shrugged, feeling that all-familiar hard thump in his chest. When he looked at Remus sometimes, it felt like his ribcage was going to crack open; like his heart was trying to escape and leap into Remus's safe hands. It hurt to look at the other man sometimes, but Sirius found he didn't mind. In fact, he rather liked the pain because Remus was the cause and he had learned that anything involving Remus was good.

"Right..." Remus muttered, looking a little self-conscious as he fidgeted with the tea towel in his hands.

It took him a moment, but Sirius realised that Remus's twitching was likely down to his staring. He was aware that he could be intense and a bit unnerving, especially when he just stared and said nothing, but he couldn't help it. Remus was handsome and rugged and he sometimes left Sirius feeling a little tongue-tied. Staring was all he could do.

"Good morning, then," Remus added, planting a quick kiss on Sirius's cheek before he moved over to the sink and began drying the dishes and putting them away.

"G'morning," Sirius replied. "So... why are you out here doing dishes when you should be lying in bed with me on our day off?"

Remus paused and stared at Sirius for a moment, his eyes trailing up and down the other man's torso appreciatively, before he put the plate he was drying in the cupboard and picked up another from the draining rack.

"My mum and dad are coming over," he informed.

"Ah," Sirius said. Option three, then.

"Exactly," Remus muttered, concentrating on his task. "And you know how my mum is. If the place is a mess, she'll passive aggressively complain, so…"

Sirius hummed and lightly banged his head against the wooden doorframe, closing his eyes in defeat and inwardly cursing because his plans were well and truly obliterated and he knew that he wouldn't be able to spend the day with Remus at all. If the Lupins were visiting, he wouldn't even be allowed in their flat for fear of them finding out. Suddenly his lack of belongings on display made a lot of sense.

It wasn't that the Lupins didn't like him. And it wasn't that he didn't like the Lupins. In fact, he quite liked Remus's parents. Hope Lupin had always treated him kindly, being a Muggle and not knowing the background of his family or how influential they were in the Wizarding World, and Lyall Lupin, despite knowing his heritage, had always treated him like any of Remus's other friends: with respect. He just couldn't be in the flat because Remus hadn't told his parents that Sirius would be living there as well, or that they would be sleeping in the same bed.

In short, Remus had yet to tell his parents of their relationship. Or even his sexual orientation which, admittedly, Sirius wasn't even sure of.

While Sirius was queer and proud, Remus had expressed an interest in females as well as males. Remus hadn't really labelled himself as anything and Sirius felt no need to give Remus a label because it didn't matter, really. He and Remus were together and committed, and that was all that mattered. Besides, he didn't have to worry about the werewolf not being interested in him as Remus had repeatedly and enthusiastically shown his desire for the male form – specifically for Sirius's form.

Sirius glanced around the kitchen and found a few things missing, namely the photos of him and Remus that were usually stuck to the refrigerator. There was no trace of him or their relationship anywhere in the flat and it didn't feel good.

"So that's why you're hiding all of my stuff?"

Remus paused in his task and replied, "Padfoot, my parents don't know we're together. I think they'll find it mighty suspicious that I'm living in a one-bedroom apartment and sharing a bed with my male best mate, don't you?"

Sirius shrugged in response, feeling (not for the first time) like a shameful secret. "I've been thinking about that, actually," he began carefully, straightening up and venturing into the small kitchen.

Remus sighed and put the tea towel down, leaning back against the kitchen counter and crossing his arms over his chest. "Pads, please," he muttered. "Let's not have this discussion again."

"Sorry, Moony," Sirius replied, putting his hands on the countertop either side of Remus, effectively boxing the other man in so he couldn't escape the conversation. "But we need to."

"No, we don't," Remus replied, half-heartedly trying to get out of Sirius's loose embrace.

"Look, I understand, Remus, I really do," Sirius began, looking Remus in the eye. "I know you love them, and I know that you're worried about what they'll think and how they'll react. You're close with them, I know that. But at the same time, I don't understand it. I don't understand why you can't tell them. They love you. They want you to be happy."

"Sirius—"

In a moment of not-so-uncharacteristic insecurity, he cut in and asked, "You are, aren't you?"

"Yes," Remus answered without hesitation. "Of course I am."

"Good," Sirius replied. "That's good. But then... I don't know why you refuse to tell them. I mean, everyone else knows. Everyone else accepts it and supports us. Even the Potters know, and they aren't even my biological family. Everyone knows except for your mum and dad. They would be fine with it, you know they would, so I don't understand why you won't just tell them already."

"I..." Remus paused and worried his lip, taking a moment to consider his words carefully. In the end, he said, "I just can't."

Sirius huffed and stepped back, pushing his hands through his hair in frustration. Three years they had been together. Three years they'd had this conversation. Three years and Remus still wasn't ready to let his parents see the real him. Three years, and Sirius's patience was beginning to wear very thin.

"Remus," Sirius growled, feeling more than a little agitated. "Do you know how humiliating it is to say that my boyfriend hides me from his parents? To say that we live together and every time his parents come by, he hides all of my stuff? Do you know how demeaning that is? It makes me feel like I'm your dirty little secret or something."

In one quick movement, Remus was stood in front of him with his hands cupping Sirius's jaw, forcing eye contact that was not entirely uncomfortable. Remus looked intense, determined and serious, and Sirius felt his irritation dissipate with every stroke of Remus's thumb over his cheek.

"You are not my secret," Remus assured with a sort of conviction that gave Sirius hope. "I am not, nor have I ever been ashamed of you. I love you and I will tell them; I promise you. It's just... Right now, they won't understand. I just need to ease them into it. I need to tell them I'm... whatever I am... before I tell them that I've shacked up with you. I know I'm asking a lot, Pads, but can you please just wait a little longer? Just until I tell them that first?"

Sirius took only a second to think about it before he nodded and replied, "Alright. I can wait. Of course I can wait. I love you too. And I'm sorry. I know it's difficult for you to let people in. I don't want to rush you."

"Rush me?" Remus snorted. "Sirius, you have been more patient that I ever thought you could be. I'm the one who should be apologising. I know this can't be easy for you – me hiding you all of the time and pretending like we're just friends. I know you had plans for today and I'm sorry I've fucked them up. I promise, I'll make it up to you. Tonight. My parents should be gone by five, so how about we spend the evening together?"

There was a mischievous glint in Remus's eyes and a suggestive inflection in his voice, and Sirius knew exactly what Remus wanted to do that evening.

Sirius smirked and replied, "Alright. Five o'clock, and not a minute later."

"Of course not," Remus grinned before he gave Sirius an almost-but-not-quite-chaste kiss. He then released Sirius and moved back over to the sink to finish drying the dishes. "Now go and put some clothes on. They'll be here soon, and I think they'll definitely suspect something if they find you half-naked in my kitchen."

"Our kitchen," Sirius corrected.

"Right," Remus nodded. "Yes, our kitchen. Sorry."

Sirius hummed and left the kitchen, shouting behind him, "I'll be out of your hair soon. Love you!"

"Love you too!" Remus yelled back. "And thank you!"

* * *

Sirius yawned and knocked on the door. It was mere seconds before the redheaded beauty known as Lily Evans-Potter threw the door open. The pair stared at each other for a short moment and Sirius noticed that his very pregnant friend was dressed in a polka dot apron with flour in her hair.

"Sirius!" she chirped suddenly, as if she had only just realised who he was.

Sirius wondered if perhaps she **had** just realised who he was. After all, he had heard his mum (Euphemia Potter) talking about 'Baby Brain' and forgetfulness with pregnant women. He barely had a moment to react before the petite redhead threw her arms around him and held him in a surprisingly strong hug. He returned the embrace briefly before Lily pulled back, a huge grin on her face.

"What are you doing here?" she asked before she grabbed his hand and dragged him into the house, closing the front door behind them. Then she yelled, "James! Sirius is here!"

They entered the kitchen and what Sirius found was a disaster zone: the countertops were coated in flour and sugar and cooking utensils; the sink was plugged up; the floor looked like it was covered in a light layer of sand; the air was warm and smelled of sweetness; and the small table that the married couple used during dinner parties was stacked high with cupcakes, cookies and other baked goods. And right in the centre of the mess, with his own 'Kiss the Cook' apron and pair of cooking mittens, was James Potter.

"Padfoot? What are you doing here? Isn't it your day off? Shouldn't you be shagging Remus on every available surface?" James rambled, a tray of uncooked goods in his hands and his glasses askew.

Lily, the loving wife that she was, corrected her husband's glasses and took the tray from him, placing it in the oven. She then picked up a plate of double chocolate chip cookies and offered them to Sirius who took one and sat down on one of the chairs. Sirius ate the biscuit in one go and took a second to debate James's questions. In the end, he answered:

"Remus's parents are visiting."

"Ah," came the collective reply from the married couple.

"So, you've been kicked out," Lily deduced, a supportive smile on her lips as she offered a red velvet cupcake.

Sirius took the cupcake and replied, "Not kicked out exactly. More like... relocated."

"That's shite, mate," James consoled, taking the seat opposite and tapping Sirius's leg with his foot in a show of solidarity. "I know you had plans for today."

"Not really," Sirius shrugged. "Just vague ideas of what to do."

"But you wanted to spend the day with him," Lily stated, moving to his side and rubbing his back in a soothing pattern as she ate one of the cupcakes.

"Yes," Sirius replied, biting into his own cupcake.

James grabbed a cupcake for himself and bit into it before he asked, "He still hasn't told them?"

Sirius shook his head and muttered, "Nope."

"He really ought to," Lily said. "Everyone else knows and accepts it. I know his dad is a bit tough on him, but his parents love him. They only want him to be happy."

"Lil's right," James agreed. "He should've told them by now. It's your anniversary next month, right?"

"Three years in November," Sirius confirmed.

"So why hasn't he told them?" Lily asked.

"He says that they won't understand right now; that he needs to ease them into it and tell them he's attracted to blokes, but I think he's just worried," Sirius replied. "You know, about disappointing them."

"How on earth could he disappoint them?" Lily asked, taking a seat on James's lap and wrapping an arm around his neck. "He graduated from Hogwarts with top grades, he has a good job in Research, he has brilliant friends. He's respected and loved, what more could they possibly want?"

"It's just... well, if he's with me, he can't have kids, can he?" Sirius replied. "That means the end of the Lupin bloodline, doesn't it? It means he doesn't get to be a dad and Hope doesn't get to be a grandma, and all because Remus fell for me and I don't have ovaries."

"Whoa, wait," James halted him, "Sirius, mate, are you sure you aren't just projecting here?"

Sirius frowned, "What?"

"Oh, I see what you mean," Lily murmured to James before she turned to Sirius and explained, "James is asking if you're sure that those aren't really your worries for Remus."

"I don't understand..."

"Well, you've always worried that you weren't enough for Moony, haven't you?" James asked.

Sirius shrugged and frowned down at his half-eaten cupcake. "They're not stupid worries," he replied. "Remus deserves so much, and I can offer so little. He would be a brilliant dad, I know he would, but he can't do that if he's with me, can he? And Hope has always wanted him to have a normal life, with a wife and some kids. I mean, you remember that time in fifth year when she asked us to set him up with a pretty girl so he could give her grandkids."

"Yeah, I remember," James replied. "But his mum was just joking. I don't think that's the reason he's scared of telling them."

"Maybe not, but it is one reason."

"Sirius, you could still have kids with Remus, you know," Lily stated.

At this, both Sirius and James frowned at her.

Lily rolled her eyes affectionately and continued, "Honestly, how you two survived before Remus and I entered your lives is a miracle. We live in the '80s, boys. There are options now for those who can't have children: IVF, surrogacy, adoption. If you really wanted, you and Remus could have a family. Mrs Lupin could still be a grandmother. Just because you're both men, it doesn't mean you can't have a family."

Sirius took a second to think about his friend's words.

Lily was right, as she often was: just because he and Remus both had cocks, it didn't mean that they couldn't have a family one day. After all, Lucinda Talkalot had brought her daughter into the world via In Vitro Fertilisation. And Ruth Abbott had been a surrogate for Davey and Jennie Gudgeon. And Edgar and Aurelia Bones had adopted a few little monsters of their own. If they could have kids, why couldn't he and Remus? He knew he wanted a family one day, and he hoped Remus wanted the same, but they had plenty of time to decide what they wanted and how they wanted it.

"Yes, I suppose there are options," Sirius agreed, his mood far lighter than it was an hour ago. "Look, I don't know why he hasn't told them. But he'll tell them soon. I know he will. He promised. And Remus never breaks his promises. I just have to be patient."

James snorted and replied, "'Sirius Black' and 'patience' are not two things that are synonymous with one another."

Lily giggled and Sirius threw the pair a scathing look before he barked, "Piss off! I can be patient."

"Sure," Lily winked before she added, "You're right. Remus never breaks his promises. I'm sure he will tell them soon."

Sirius smiled gratefully and ate the rest of his cupcake.

"So, when are you leaving? Are you staying for the full weekend or...?" James asked, earning a whack on the arm from his wife. "Ouch! What was that for?"

"It's rude to ask someone when they're leaving," Lily replied haughtily before she turned to Sirius and said, "You can stay as long as you'd like."

Sirius grinned and replied, "It's okay. I'm not staying too long. Remus is kicking his parents out at about five, so I'll be leaving then. Unless you want me out sooner."

"No, that's perfect, actually," Lily replied, standing up and grabbing an apron for Sirius. "You can help us bake. The local primary school is having a Bake Sale and my mum asked me and James to help out."

Sirius hesitated because: cooking, yes; baking, not so much. (And yes, there is a difference.)

"Oh, come on! There's a batch of treats in it for you if you say yes..." Lily enticed.

Sirius grinned and replied, "Fine. I'm in. Give me my apron and a spoon."

* * *

Sirius tucked the tin of assorted goodies under his arm and knocked on the door, aware that the Lupins might still be in the flat and not wanting to risk them finding out that he lived there. He waited for a second before the door swung open and he found himself face-to-face with a grinning Remus.

"Sirius!" Remus greeted. "Why are you knocking?"

"I, uh. Well, in case your parents were still here...?"

"They're not here anymore," Remus replied before he grabbed Sirius's sleeve and pulled him into the flat. "I have news."

Sirius allowed himself to be dragged into the living room and was pleased to find that their flat looked normal again: the framed photographs of him and Remus were back on the mantelpiece, his notebook and novelty cactus pen were back on the coffee table, and his collection of Muggle trinkets were back on their shelf where they belonged. (Why Remus had hidden them in the first place, he'd never know.)

Remus took the tin from Sirius and placed it on the coffee table before he pushed Sirius down on the couch. He then took the seat next to Sirius and said, "I told them."

It took a second for Remus's words to sink in and a further second before Sirius understood what they meant, but he didn't want to get his hopes up, so he asked, "You told them what, exactly?"

"I told my mum and dad that I fancy blokes," Remus replied.

"You what?"

"I told them," Remus repeated. "I just – You got into my head. I never want you to feel like I was ashamed of you or anything because I'm not. I'm really not. You are everything to me, Sirius, and I don't want you to ever feel like my secret. And when you said that's how I made you feel, I just... I couldn't do it anymore. And I just sort of... blurted it out."

"You really told them?" Sirius asked, proud of his partner but a little surprised.

Remus nodded.

"Remus, that's brilliant!" Sirius beamed, grabbing Remus's face and planting a too hard kiss on his lips before he pulled back and asked, "How did they take it?"

Remus shrugged and replied, "Fine, I think. My dad was a bit shocked, but my mum didn't seem fazed. I think she probably knew already."

"Well, they say that mothers always know," Sirius noted, releasing Remus's face and taking his hands. "I'm glad they took it well."

"Yeah, me too," Remus agreed. "They reacted way better than I thought they would. And don't say 'I told you so' or you'll be doing the dishes for the rest of the week."

Sirius grinned and debated whether he wanted to risk a week's worth of dishwashing. In the end, he decided not to. (He really hated doing the dishes.) After a moment, he realised what Remus had said, or rather not said, and it occurred to him:

"I'm guessing you didn't tell them about me?"

Remus's smile faltered and he replied, "No. I'm sorry, Sirius. I wanted to – I really did – but they were already trying to wrap their heads around the fact that I like blokes, I thought that if I admitted to my three year relationship with my best friend, they might go into cardiac arrest. And if they hadn't kicked off about me not telling them about us, I think my mum would've asked me to bring you to dinner and my dad would've interrogated you and I didn't really want either of us to deal with that quite yet."

Sirius thought about it for a moment before he moved forward on the settee and wrapped his arms around his werewolf, placing a light kiss on the other man's forehead. Remus wrapped his own arms around Sirius's waist and hid his face in the crook between Sirius's neck and shoulder. They stayed like that for a long moment, wrapped up together, half-lying on the couch, silently thinking. Then Sirius said:

"I don't mind that you didn't tell them about us, Moony. This is an achievement in itself. I'm proud of you."

"Really?" Remus asked, pulling back slightly to look at him.

"Really," Sirius assured.

"I will tell them, Padfoot. I promise. I just want to prepare you first. My parents are a bit... full-on, with me being their only child and all."

"I can handle a Lupin," Sirius replied, then he remembered Lyall Lupin, with his piercing blue eyes and imposing height, and he decided he didn't mind putting off that particular conversation. (For a little while, at least.) "But I can wait. One confession at a time, yeah?"

Remus smiled and agreed, "One confession at a time."


End file.
